my midlife musings


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Midlife crisis! Really?





First Published - April 2019



So I was looking for some inspiration today and decided to Google “Midlife”.I didn’t want to include other words such as woman, man, crisis or career just “Midlife”. Google in all its magic gave me 12,300,000 results in 0.46 seconds. Great! I thought, so much I can read about and be inspired by; but then I started reading..


I was shocked and horrified! The first two pages of over 20 links were all about Midlife CRISIS! Nothing else, no inspirational articles, nothing on living a healthy midlife, zilch on the successes of the midlife man or woman; just the CRISIS!





Had Midlife turned to Mid Death?


The world as I knew it was going to end. I am in my midlife and it was meant to be a crisis, I was to follow what Google said, midlife crisis waswas only about crisis, Google was all about midlife crisis and there was nothing I could do about it.





Is Midlife only a crisis waiting to happen?



Was this really the time of our life that all the bad things were going to happen? Psychology Today put it very well;


It seems that many unhappy events occur at mid-life: The empty nest, menopause, affairs, financial concerns, a clearer sense of mortality, and a growing unhappiness with the daily grind. No wonder that red convertible looks tantalizingly good. At this point in life, you tally your failures and disappointments, and cannot muster a smidgen of gratitude.


This is not what I want out of my midlife. I am nearing 47 as I write this article and feel like my life is only just beginning. Its a life for me, about me with all the things that I want to do.


I am still a loving mother and wife, I work from home and do all the things every wife and mother must do; cook, clean, wash, iron, pick-up, drop-off, errands, pay bills and everything in between. The nest is half empty, as my eldest goes to college in another state and my youngest still has a few years of high school to go through. I have time on my hands and knowing this I have decided that my midlife is going to be a Life-Begin time.





Midlife means more time for the things I want to do.



As for Google – well those 20 odd results need to be ignored. I am no longer looking at it with the word crisis in mind. Midlife for me is a time for re-evaluating my own life, doing the things I want to do and taking the time to discover new things.


I am reading more, taking time to do the things that I want to do. Learning to balance my work and home life with the addition of actually doing things for ME as well. Whether it be reading, meditating or going for a swim in our local pool or heading to the nail salon for a manicure. If I want to do something I now can, time is on my side.


Getting older is something I’m actually looking forward to especially after dedicating the past 20 or so years to my children and family. I’m now learning to spend my time more wisely on the things that matter to me. It’s not easy to change the way I spend my day, guilt still trickles in from time to time. Am I allowed to do what I want; what will the “others” say?


Now I have more hours in the day to read, write, exercise, plan healthy meals and do all the things I want to do. I find that I’m not as stressed as I was when the kids were younger. Midlife is a the next chapter in my life and that includes keeping my mind, body and soul in good working order so that I can enjoy the next 30-40 years of my life.



My Midlife Musings


Singapore, UAE, Scotland, Thailand, Malaysia
Expat Since 1984